I love doing these little quick random projects. I set up my my main camera, ran it on a timer to take a picture every second for 60 seconds at a time - meanwhile there was a small RGB light going through its programmed rotation of hues while I stood there with my secondary. I was super curious what I would get - how my camera would respond to the different intensities of the colors.

It was all so therapeutic- setting up the tripod, light stand, backdrop and doing what I could to blackout the room. In the technical bits of work I had what I needed to satisfy the detail orientation side of my brain, and in the adaptive, vision-esque parts of the work I was able to satisfy my general creativity. And not for nothing, being able to execute my vision felt just so awesome.

Not long after that I hit a creative rut, then another fledgling moment of creative and technical bliss. Then another rut - and another moment of bliss.

Rinse and Repeat.

It can be so infuriating, this creative passion of mine. At times, it honestly feels like the most unattainable high. I'll be the first to name I'm not a creative genius, but still, it sometimes hurts not being able to express what I'm seeing and what I'm feeling through my camera lens - be it stills or video. Knowing what I want to do and not being able to create it, due to technical constraints or just straight up not knowing how to do it, has caused me to burn out and make me wonder if this is something I really want to do.

There comes a point where I need to own a truth - I am still learning, and will continue to learn. I am no master of the craft, but with time, practice, and abundant curiosity, I might be able to tell all the stories I want to tell.

Once acknowledged, I can put the camera down for a second to breathe and look at the world beyond the viewfinder and really take in what is around me. It's okay to do a little rest and recreation.

Putting the camera down intentionally for a bit was difficult, but resting my eyes has done me well. I've been gone for a minute but I'm back now, ready to create whatever my heart desires. Definitely owning the "building the plane as I fly" mentality and just experimenting while taking on new work and projects.

It'll be a good time, I think.